Lorde won a Grammy before she graduated high school.
no offense or anything but I want to set you on fire
*pronounces “hors d’oeuvres” as “horse divorce”*
Mom: Home in 5 minutes, hope you’ve taken the chicken out of the freezer
It’s never too late to drop out of school and become a stripper
me: *petting a cat* nice
cat: *bathes self where i touched it*
won’t drink lukewarm water but i’ll put another person’s genitals in my mouth
I’m actually concerned for boys who complain about how different girls look without makeup. Like did you think eyeshadow permanently alters a girls eyelid? Are you frightened when people change clothes
Babies have no concept of object permanence
That’s one of the sickest burns I’ve ever read.
When you’re failing gym class and you tryna get ya grade up at the last minute